J. E. Creosote

Joeseph Elias Creosote (1853 - 1931) was a British politician, writer and champagne magnate, most famous for forming and leading The Independent Creosotian Republic in Southern England from 1886 - 1897, presiding over the Jeremboah Wars and an ambitious imperialist programme.

Creosote's early political career saw him become one of Britain's most popular MPs. Often seen as an outsider and maverick, he represented multiple constituencies in Southern England 1875-86 as both a Liberal and Conservative backbencher. He used popular support and local political strife in the 1880s to form the Creosotian Republic.

The First Jeremboah War unified the Republic through mass-mobilization, full political centralization and the sense of a national goal, sweeping aside the abject failure of the first years to bring about any change. Predictably, President Creosote's popularity remained high during the victorious interwar period before plunging in 1896, as military disasters in the Final Jeremboah War compounded and became more calamitous. Nevertheless, he retained a base approval rating of roughly 40% until the end of the Republic, suggesting a substantial group of unwavering supporters.

Creosote is remembered for his charisma and very eventful life, re-entering British Parliament in 1901 and serving as an MP until 1913, then as a lord from 1913 to his death. He also famously took part in front line combat during The Final Jermboah War in 1895, something not done by a country's leader since the kings of medieval Europe, and is widely recognised for his physical courage and commitment to his ideals even by his most fervent opponents.

Early Life
Creosote was born 15th February 1853 to Baron Horatio Creosote and Victoria Creosote. He spent his early childhood in Telford, on their large estate amid the countryside of Shropshire. He later claimed this instilled a 'great love of old England'.

At the age of 13 he was sent to Eton college, where his grades lagged severely. He was, however, prized by the school for his talents in Rugby, due to his large frame and competitive spirit. He swiftly became noted as one of the most popular boys in the school, known for his good humour and prominent gang of Rugby teammates, which were known as 'The Boys'. By 16 he became more involved in his studies, performing well in History and English, and secured place at Cambridge.

Early Political Career
He joined Cambridge's Conservative Society, but left within a few months after deciding they were 'too lazy', instead seating himself among the Liberals. From there he took part in a number of spirited debates, and gained a reputation for his passionate orations. In 1875 he stood as an MP for Maldon in Essex, not expecting to win, but was elected to become Britain's youngest ever MP at that time at just 22.

While many in the Liberal Party assumed he would soon ascend to front benches, Creosote quickly thwarted his own chances by criticising William Gladstone during his political comeback in 1876. He was tolerated by the party for his popularity among his constituents, but regularly 'told off' by the leadership. Amid this, he departed for the Conservatives in 1878, claiming to be impressed with Benjamin Disraeli's handling of the Congress of Berlin.

He was elected as Conservative MP for Chatham in a by-election that year but alienated himself from his new party by criticising the conduct of the Anglo-Zulu War in 1879. Despite this, he spoke in favour of Disraeli's one-nation Conservatism and remained an overall well-liked figure, especially through his increasingly entertaining pamphlets written for party members.

The 1880 election saw the dramatic loss of the Conservatives, though Creosote retained his seat, he caused controversy by claiming the Liberals were 'right about most of the issues', again switching party in 1881. Despite attempts to 'keep him out', his personal popularity as a public figure made him invaluable to either party, and he was back in Parliament as a Liberal MP for Hastings in 1882.

Creosotian Independence
While MP for Hastings, he met George Hudson, which he claimed was the 'beginnings of the real rabble-rousing'. The pair developed their own revolutionary ideas about secession of Sussex from the United Kingdom, after Creosote's attempts to introduce new railway lines to the county were hindered by Parliament. The product of their discussions and pub meetings was an 1885 pamphlet titled 'A New Way', which proposed an independent Republic in the South East of England for like-minded individuals. While at first proposed as a satirical comment on unsatisfactory government, the internally logical arguments and detailed economic proposals evidenced a far more realistic prospect. By the end of 1885 an estimated 10 million copies had been printed, circulated well outside of Sussex.

Creosote's popularity was at an all time high for his biting debates in Parliament, gleefully quoted by several supportive newspapers in the South East, while Hudson's own wealth and influence was growing considerably. Additionally, the pair had attracted a number of leading industrialists from the region who were enthused by the idea. Out of the South East's 50 MPs, 20 claimed they would join the new republic without hesitation. In a commons debate on 7th March 1886, Creosote was goaded by the Prime Minister Gladstone to 'go ahead and form it'. By the afternoon, Creosote declared independence with his vangaurd party of MPs and businessmen.

Parliament permitted a referendum for all the counties concerned, assuming they would reject the proposal, but the inhabitants voted in favour of 'Creosotian Independence' by 56%.